Poor life choices

To live is to choose.

In life, we are forced to make choices. We might not be aware of the choices we make. At times, we are given poor options. Nonetheless, we are still making a decision. Existential philosopher, Satre, mentioned “Man is condemned to be free”. To put it simply, we have the freedom to choose. To live is to choose. Not making a choice is also, ironically, a choice. There is still a choice, despite the limitations (socio-cultural-political) we face.

This might sound pessimistic or deterministic. To a certain extent, it is. At another level, being aware that we are actively choosing helps us to make peace with our choices. At times, we suffer the consequences of our bad choices. Like a sex addict, his marriage / relationship is in shambles when his sexual acting out behaviours are exposed. Like a ADHDer, work performance is greatly affected due to poor lifestyle choices. What is more important is to learn about the forces (external and internal) that made us opt for this choice we have made.

Thinking that we always have unlimited choices in life is rather pollyannaish. There are moments where the ‘only’ option is self destruction. We feel shame and embarrassment about the poor choices we made. We might just shut down mentally before we could even understand why we made these poor life choices. This shame stops us from processing and learning about ourselves and the dilemma that we are in. This shame acts as a barrier to self discovery.

My clients might blame themselves. Beat themselves up. Vow never to make the same mistake again. Yet, without self discovery, they ending up making the same poor choices. This is a never-ending self-perpetuating loop of suffering.

During the therapy encounter, with the permission they gave themselves, we examine these choices and address the guilt and shame. Are we able to make peace with this choice? There is strength in making peace with our choice. There is even greater strength in owning our poor choices. Often once we have made peace with our poor choices, assume responsibility, we find that other alternatives, that was once not available, appears.

Give yourself permission to discover yourself by examining our life choices.

Know that help is available

If you identify with article, know that help is available. You can live a meaningful and purposeful life.

Insight Therapy Services provides counselling for Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD), Adult ADHD and Shame Therapy. Or you might prefer to discover yourself through existential therapy. You learn deeper insights about your actions and yourself. You learn how to gain control over your life.

If you wish to book an initial consultation, visit this page.

For more queries, email me here.